I haven’t always been the most open lady when it comes to my personal life. Just one more thing I can thank my husband for. I had been so closed off, and in denial with a lot of personal issues I had been having, that when I found my happiness with him unexpectedly, it turned my world sunny side up.
I have learned to be grateful for every day given to me. When I was stuck in a rut, this of course wasn’t always my outlook on life. 2016 me, never would have guessed that 2018 me, would be married, and so incredibly happy. This hopefully instilling hope on those who may not have this outlook yet.
My husband was the first person that told me to my face that I am a people collector. I’d stay connected with ex’s like it was yesterday’s chocolate bar. I was defensive stating that I was indeed not a people collector, and I didn’t talk to any of them all that often anyways. For me, I suppose having them in the shadows was a comfort thing. If you know me at all, you know I hate change. Of course until I realized that these people are not my friends, and have no benefit to my future, I was being mentally weighed down. I slowly came around to my senses, and realized that I am growing older, and not all of my friends are going to stick around. People move, change, and grow constantly. He made me realize that I need to focus on the people that focus on me too. Why waste your time trying to uphold a friendship where the person lacks in communication, and probably can’t answer what your favorite movie is, or what the current events are in your personal life. You’d think that this would be common knowledge to most people, and that you’re already focusing on your real friends. But once I was done rolling my eyes at him, I realized he was right. Yes, my husband, you were right. I wasn’t fully focusing on the people that give back what I give to them. By realizing this, and making changes, it has freed up not only my time, but my headspace.
We both have our trust issues due to certain things in our past. Which is why in the very beginning we established an open line of communication. The amount of communication has made us super comfortable talking to one another. If you don’t feel able to fully express yourself, or don’t find yourselves talking about your sexuality over wine in the comfort of your own living room, you’re missing out.
You hear being married is a lot of work. Which it is. One day you both could wind up bored of the other, and you willingly let your flame die because you didn’t pay attention to the little details. With that being said, I’ve learned to compromise. Not that I didn’t know how to before, but being married has brought the word into a brand new light. It doesn’t have to be some huge sacrifice. (ex: I’m tired, and my husbands hungry. I’m going to make him dinner anyways.) At the end of each day, I ask myself, “What did you do for your husband today?” Now I try to remember, it’s the little things.
A lot of my realizations I have my husband to thank for. He’s been married before, and is older than I am. So he has an 80 y/o mans wisdom about him. So thank you for everything darling. You have made me patient. You have made learning to trust that much easier. You have let me be myself without judgement. You have taught me to give to those who give back.
I will continue to appreciate, and thank you for this love every day, for the rest of our lives as I promised. You make being happily married so easy.